Recently, someone posted a kind comment on my Facebook Wall, saying how special I am and how much my friendship means to them. At first I thought, “Wow, I’m really glad that person is my friend!” and started to post back a thank you for the warm and friendly post. But then I noticed where the comment was generated from.

You know how Facebook tells you when something’s been posted from HootSuite or Ping or a mobile application? Well, this one was posted from a tool that acts much like an e-mail list management tool that lets you insert “%firstname%” into the body of your text so that the person’s actual name appears. For example, when I write my weekly e-zine, the software I use allows me to write something like, “Hi %firstname%, Welcome to No Suits Allowed!” and the e-mail that the subscriber receives, says, “Hi John, Welcome to No Suits Allowed!” Well, this software allows you to do the same thing, but with social media. So you can write something like, “Hi %firstname%, I just wanted to let you know how special and amazing you are, and to say that I really treasure our friendship,” and send it to a thousand people.

Efficient? Yes. Totally against the entire point of social media? In my book, pretty much.

Social media isn’t designed to be a mass enterprise. It’s designed to form and build relationships and connections among people. Whether you’re talking about Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, social media is all about a conversation that takes place between individuals. If you want to leverage social media to its greatest advantage, you have to actually participate in that conversation.

I’m not entirely against time-saving tools for social media. In fact, I make great use of them myself. I use Networked Blogs to automatically post my blog posts to my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I use HootSuite to load in links to articles I’ve written, to maximize visibility of those articles over a longer period of time. And I recently started using the feature in my e-mail newsletter software that allows me to post my weekly e-zines to my Twitter account.

But the automation stops there. If I automate personal messages, how, exactly, am I building high quality relationships, and how can I bring true value to my friends, followers, fans, and associates? How can one form an authentic connection, if one starts by deceiving people by posting what seems like an intimate and individual comment, but what turns out to be a generic message which was actually posted to several (or even hundreds) other people?

Back to the individual who posted this message to my Wall…I looked at this person’s Facebook Wall, to see what response she was getting from others. Many people had posted and thanked her for the message she posted (and a little detective work proved that indeed, it was identical to the one posted on my Wall), and it’s pretty clear to me that most didn’t know (or didn’t care?) that this was the exact same message she’d posted to everyone else…and that she hadn’t visited their Facebook pages to learn about them, but rather had just clicked a single “Submit” button to send one message to many.

So maybe this tool provides a jumping-off point for forming a relationship? But…no. Because as I suspected, the person in question hasn’t responded to a single one of the people thanking her on her Wall, which is what you’d think someone would do, if they understood the point of social media and were truly interested in forming those connections.

Folks, social media isn’t about collecting followers and friends. The numbers aren’t what’s important - the quality is what matters. If you have thousands of friends, how much good does that really do you, if you don’t talk to them or engage in a dialogue with them? How does it serve you to have that many friends you don’t have a relationship with, and more importantly, how can you possibly serve them?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times…social media is about engagement and it’s about the conversation. If you post to your Wall or tweet and you get no response from your friends and followers, there’s a reason why. You’ve got to get to know people to know what will interest them. You’ve got to get to know your friends and followers to know what they want to hear about from you. And if you don’t bother doing that, you’re wasting the incredible business and personal potential that social media puts at your fingertips.

Now, if you’ve got thousands of Facebook friends and Twitter followers, obviously you won’t be able to have conversations with each and every one of them every day. But what you can do is post things that appeal to your friends and followers, and engage in a dialogue about those things. Different things will appeal to different people, which means that over time, you’ll get a good mix of many of your friends and followers involved in the conversation. People will talk to you and they’ll talk to each other, and you’ll create a little community, just by getting to know the people who you’re connected to in social media. And that’s the point.

Customer service is one of the most important things in today’s marketplace. In this article, I’ll show you how one big company got their customer service wrong, and how you can learn from their mistakes and take your small business customer service to the next level.

Last Christmas, when Leo and I took the kids to Spain for the holidays, we experienced several hours of delay in London Heathrow Airport. After our delay, our flight was boarded then de-boarded, and then we spent several more hours in the chaos of baggage claim, trying to get our suitcases back. British Airways made no public announcements, made no real effort to provide accurate information (except to first class passengers, and even that effort was minimal, at best), and no one seemed to be in charge. Not only that, but my bag was lost for an entire week, and we received Leo’s bag a week after that, the day before we left to come home, and the entire time the bags were lost, no one at British Airways seemed to have a clue what was going on.

And believe it or not, that wasn’t even the worst part of the customer service catastrophe. After the holidays, on the train back to London, I filed the claims for our canceled flights and reimbursement for what we purchased while we awaited deliver of our lost baggage. I heard back from BA by February, but in March, they stopped responding to my e-mails. It took until May to get a response, and only because I e-mailed the CEO of British Airways, and then it took another two and a half months to get them to issue a reimbursement check. The final insult? The check they sent covered less than half of the claim I submitted.

Where did British Airways go wrong here? Everywhere. So…what could they do better, and more importantly, what can you learn about about small business from my bad experience with British Airways?

The customer or client should be at the forefront of everything you do.
I’ve said it hundreds of times - your priority should be to meet the needs of your target market. You have to know who they are and what they want so you can design everything for them. When you develop your brand, ask yourself: will this appeal to my target market? When you have a web site created for you, ask yourself: will my target market be able to navigate this? When you set up customer service guideline and procedures, ask yourself: does this serve my clients and customers?

I’d wager that when BA execs sit down to plan something new, they don’t consider the customer at all. It’s evident in their hard-to-navigate web site, their lack of easily-accessible customer service phone lines, and their lack of consideration for the customer in virtually every aspect of  travel. Make sure you don’t make the same mistake.

Have emergency backup plans in place.
No matter what business you’re in, there will always be moments when something goes wrong. If you have a contingency plan in place before things go wrong, you won’t have to scramble to figure out what to do. Your response time will be faster and your customers will be satisfied sooner…and you won’t feel frazzled, because you’ll know exactly what’s going on and what to do about it.

If British Airways had an emergency backup plan in place for what happened when we traveled back in December, there would’ve been BA personnel telling people what was going on and what to do next, and no one would’ve spent the night sitting in baggage claim.

Keep your customers informed.
The worst thing you can do when things go wrong is to cut your customers out of the loop. Maintain regular communication with your clients and customers, even if you can’t tell them what they want to hear. They want to know that you’re working on solving their problem.

A great example of this is how American Airlines handled a problem I recently had with a ticket. They’d made a mistake and ticketed something wrong and I was on the phone with their customer service agent, trying to solve the problem. The agent had to put me on hold for a very long time so his supervisor could work with another department to fix the issue. Every couple of minutes, though, he’d come back and say, “I’m sorry this is taking so long, Mrs. Baroncini-Moe, but I just wanted to check in and let you know that we’re still working on this and I just need to have you hold a bit longer. Is that okay?” And because I knew what was going on, I was fine with the lengthy hold.

British Airways could’ve gone a long way with customer service by having someone in the baggage claim area telling people they weren’t sure what was going on, but they were in the process of finding out and were going to let us know just as soon as they had answers, having someone call my hotel to let me know they were still trying to get our bags to us and updating me on their progress (even if there hadn’t been any), and, instead of going for three months without replying to my e-mails, having someone contact me to let me know they were researching my receipts and working on figuring out the reimbursement, which brings me to my next point.

Respond quickly and communicate regularly.
When customers contact you and let you know there’s a problem, respond immediately. Let them know you’re willing to take action to resolve the issue, and you are on their side. Your goal is to preserve the relationship, and one of the ways to do that is to keep the lines of communication open. Make sure they know you’re continuing to work on resolving things and keep them updated on your progress.

Obviously, if British Airways had communicating effectively and regularly from the start, we wouldn’t have spent the night waiting for our suitcases, and obviously I wouldn’t have spent three months trying to get them to respond to e-mails. Beyond that, if just once, a member of the BA staff had picked up the phone and called me, instead of relying on the impersonal medium of e-mail, I think I would’ve felt like they cared a little.

Go an extra step beyond to satisfy your customers, and apologize.
Be exceptional. Go overboard. Do what it takes and go beyond just what you “have” to do to resolve any problems. British Airways sent me reimbursement for half of what their mistakes cost me. I would’ve been happy if they’d sent me exactly what I spent on replacement clothes, toiletries, and, as this was our Christmas trip, replacements for the kids’ Christmas stockings and stuffers, but do you know what I never received, even to this date? An apology. If, at any point during this process, anyone from BA had called me to say, “We are so sorry for how this has been handled, and we’re going to make this right,” I wouldn’t have felt so frustrated and angry as I practically forced them to resolve the problem.

My point in this post is to show you exactly where this big company went wrong in their customer service, and how you, as a small business, can do better. Good customer service matters - people talk about that. So make your customer service about caring for your clients and customers in an unparalleled way. Go the extra mile, and dare to be exceptional. Put yourself in the shoes of your customers and clients and ask yourself, “What can I do to put this relationship first and delight this person?” Do that and you’ll find your customers becoming more and more loyal, until you have your very own volunteer marketing team.

These days, anyone and everyone are calling themselves an “expert” and there are tons of business “coaches” who are promoting the idea that you don’t need experience, education, or training to be an expert. So…what is an expert, anyway?

Let’s start with the dictionary definition:

Expert.
noun. a person who has special skill or knowledge in some particular field; specialist; authority.
adjective. possessing special skill or knowledge; trained by practice; skillful or skilled (often fol. by in or at).

Okay, that gives us a lot to go on.

To be an expert, you must have special skill or knowledge in some particular field.
How do you acquire special skill or knowledge in a particular field? First and foremost, I recommend reading. I’ve read over 3,000 books on small business, marketing, branding, personal growth, success, and profitability. But believe me, it’s not enough just to read. You have to read with a critical mind. You can’t read every single book and think they all contain The Answers. In fact, many books I’ve read contain one or two great thoughts, and the rest of the book simply builds on the theme. Other books have so many gems and wisdom, they tend to look like they’ve been through a war, with all the underlining and dog-eared pages. You have to learn to discern quality and substance, more than anything else.

Second, I recommend training. Take classes and courses in your area of study. I started my career as a web developer and I took tons of classes to acquire the skills I needed to be successful. Later, I taught classes in web development, and believe me, you become an expert very quickly when you teach! When I got carpal tunnel syndrome and had to change careers, I took a ton of training to be a coach. I didn’t take one course and call myself a coach. I took several courses and relied heavily on my Master’s degree in social psychology as well. And when I transitioned in to business consulting, I studied marketing and branding, startup and growth, and worked with mentors who taught me what they knew as well.

And that leads me to the third recommendation: study with the masters. Study with people who have vast amounts of experience in your field. Ask them to mentor you, as I did, and see if they’ll teach you or allow you to apprentice.

To be an expert, you must be trained by practice.
In Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, he shares a number that many of us know: 10,000. 10,000 hours is the number of hours it takes to become a master at something, to be truly proficient. So if you’re a chef, it takes 10,000 hours (or 10 years) to become a master chef. If you’re a violinist, it takes 10,000 hours of practice to become truly proficient. Likewise, if you’re a coach, it’ll take you 10,000 hours or 10 years to be a master (not in title, but in practice). I didn’t call myself an expert in small business until I had 10 years under my own belt. You just need time in the field and lots of practice to get beyond theory and to really know what you’re doing.

To be an expert, you must be an authority.
You know, there are lots of ways to become an authority. People all over the net are showing you how to become an “authority” or achieve “expert status” by marketing articles and using strategic PR…but you become a true authority when you have studied and trained and practiced, and achieved credibility and legitimacy. Ultimately, you achieve authority status when you achieve the respect of your peers and of those who have less experience and practice than you.

At the end of the day, anybody can call themselves an “expert.” But authentically, are you really one?

Lately, I’ve received a large number of e-mails from people introducing themselves as ‘bestselling’ authors. Folks, this is a claim that is so simple to check out that you absolutely should not be lying about it.

Now…don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with you “spinning” your resume and credentials to sound a bit more impressive than they actually are, as long as what you say is still true. But if you’re blatantly disseminating information about yourself that is completely false, like saying you’re a ‘bestselling’ author when your book has never made it onto the New York Times or Wall Street Journal bestsellers lists, then you’re lying. Period.

According to Wikipedia, “a bestseller is a book that is identified as extremely popular by its inclusion on lists of currently top selling titles that are based on publishing industry and book trade figures and published by newspapers, magazines, or bookstore chains.” Wikipedia goes on to say, “in the United Kingdom, a hardcover book could be considered a “bestseller” with sales ranging from 4,000 to 25,000 copies per week.” Per week, people. So be honest: is your book really a “bestseller?”

The authors whose work appears on bestseller lists (and I’m not talking about Amazon’s lists, which change hourly and are micro-specific, but rather the real lists of USA Today, New York Times, or the Wall Street Journal) tend to be exceptional at marketing their books. They know that to be successful, you have to know how to market and you have to know how to sell, and you can’t just sell one book at a time. True bestselling authors are smart marketers who know how to leverage the right tools and professionals to build awareness about and visibility for their product.

Today, you can claim just about anything you want. You can say you’re an expert of any kind without anyone having to verify it. You can say you’re a speaker, a published writer, and yes, even a ‘bestselling author.’ But just because you say it doesn’t make it true. So before you say that you’re a “bestselling author,” make sure you know what that means, and make sure it’s actually true. Have some integrity in your self-promotion and you’ll gain more respect…and eventually, you actually might achieve that dream to be a real bestselling author.

My latest article at Associated Content: How to Grow Your Small Business in Any Economy, Part 2

If you’ve been reading my blog, my e-zine, following me on Facebook, or watching my Tweets, it would be impossible for you not to have noticed my new program, The Experts Series. This series is a yearlong, interview-and-integrate series. Each month, I’ll interview a top name in small business. The current lineup includes several bestselling authors, power players in marketing and PR, and heavy hitters from the real world, and all year long, we’ll be talking about ways for you to grow your small business.

So why should you join the series? Here are my top five reasons:

1. You’ll learn from the best.
   I’ve invited some of the world’s most well-known experts in small business, marketing, public relations, and branding to participate in this series. The lineup includes:
   • Bob Burg, author of Endless Referrals and co-author of The Go-Giver and Go-Givers Sell More
   • Jay Conrad Levinson, author of Guerilla Marketing, the best-known small business marketing book series of all time.
   • Jack Trout, author of Differentiate or Die and Positioning, among other bestsellers, and the guy I learned a ton about branding from.
   • Larry Winget, author of It’s Called Work For A Reason and You’re Broke Because You Want to Be and the guy I turn to for “get real, and get off your butt” advice.
   • David Meerman Scott, author of The New Rules of Marketing and PR, Eyeball Wars, and Cashing In with Content, among others, and one of the guys I’ve learned the most about marketing and PR from.

   (I’ve actually got several more incredible people signed on to participate, but I agreed not to reveal their names or promote that they’re appearing in the series until we get a couple of months closer to their dates. I have to admit that it’s kind of killing me not to tell you who they are, because these are huge names, and I honestly can’t even believe they agreed to let me interview them. But you’ll see the announcements coming up as soon as I’m allowed to share them, I promise!)

2. You’ll figure out what’s missing in your business that’s keeping you from taking that next step forward.
   I don’t plan to just ask these folks what’s in their books or what they always talk about. Sure, we’ll cover that stuff, but I want to go deeper and find out what you can’t learn from their books. What are their best-kept secrets for growing your brand, getting the word out, drawing in clients, getting booked for speaking gigs, and heck, just making money? Was there one thing that they did that took their business to the next level? Was there something that “clicked” in their business? What’s the one thing they think you can do to grow your business and achieve success? I’ll be asking them more in-depth questions than you’ve heard in other interviews, to get to the heart of what these true small business masters can teach us.
3. You’ll have a chance to get up-close and personal with the top names in small business and ask them your questions.
   When I’m done grilling these experts, I’ll give you a chance to ask your own questions. You’ll be able to talk to the biggest names in small business and ask them whatever’s been burning in your mind about their books or your business. How often do you have a chance to ask someone of this caliber for a little turbo-coaching?
4. You’ll be working directly with me to integrate everything we learn during the interviews into your own business.
   The evening after every interview, I’m hosting a second call. I’ll do a brief recap of the expert call, and then I’ll take your questions. We’ll cover integrating the material we learned the day before, or you can ask me other questions about your business. Point is, I’ll be coaching you live and giving you my best business advice on the spot. This is absolutely the most affordable way to get some real, authentic business mentoring from a seasoned pro. Plus, just like any other Mastermind (I call this my “mastermind lite”), you’ll learn from the other folks on the calls. Remember, we’re all in this together. Whatever you’re going through in your business, I’ve probably been there…and you’ll discover other people who are in the same boat as you, so you can learn together.
5. Each month you’ll get closer to achieving true business mastery, and building more freedom, flexibility and purpose into your life.
   Listen…let me be candid. Just listening to the interviews and Q&A calls probably won’t change your business too much. But if you act on what you learn in the series, your business could completely transform. Just imagine if you knew what to do and how to structure your time so you really did achieve small business mastery? Can you imagine if you actually had all of the freedom and flexibility that small business ownership promises? Can you imagine what would happen if you were able to create a vision for your business and then achieve it? The best way to achieve all of that is to learn from authentic leaders who have mastered it themselves, and know how to teach what they learned. And that’s what The Expert Series is all about.

Bonus Reason: These are real experts. They’re authentic people. And they’re interested in helping you.
When I invited these folks, here’s how I describe the series: “a new teleseminar series for my subscribers and clients to help them learn and grow in areas they may miss on their own.” And you know, what really amazed me about the responses I received is how generous these people were. I mean, maybe it’s my own jaded perspective, but I never, in a million years, expected anyone as famous as some of these folks are to thank me for reaching out to them and to be enthusiastic about participating in the series. But they’ve all been so generous with their time and they’re excited to join in this series, because this is all about casting off the formality and the suits and rolling up our sleeves and getting real about small business growth today.

Don’t miss out on this rare opportunity to learn from the masters. Join The Experts Series today.

Being authentic can be surprisingly difficult, especially in business. I often work with people who have no problem being genuine in real life, but who really struggle with authenticity in business. I hear from clients that, in business, they have to appear to be mega-successful — not just sort of successful, and not “hey, I’m growing a business here,” but really successful, in order to be taken seriously. There’s so much posturing and pretending, because people believe that you can’t become successful unless you appear to already be successful. But that’s just not true! In fact, it’s the opposite.

We’re all works in progress.
I’ve seen “behind the scenes” of a lot of the people who most of us think of as mega-successful, and things aren’t always how they seem. A well-known wealth coach I know spends most of his time talking about the power of mindset, but I know that he struggles with exactly the same issues everyone else does: doubt, uncertainty, insecurity. We’re all works in progress. Every single one of us. We all have questions and insecurities and fears. It’s how you deal with those internal struggles that matters.

The truth has a way of seeping out anyway.
We think we’re so good at hiding our secrets from the rest of the world. But whether it’s a financial crisis, marital problems, personal demons, or something else, even if you think you’re keeping your skeletons hidden, you’re probably not. Truth has a way of sneaking out there and betraying our lies. Truth may show up in an uncertain look in your eye or in the way you keep your secrets, but know this: it’s almost impossible to keep things totally hidden.

It’s not all about appearances. It’s about truth.
Far too many folks out there seem to think that if you appear to be super-successful, you’ll achieve legitimacy. But it’s not about how you seem, it’s about how you are. If who you really are matches up with who you say you are, then you’ll appear credible, because you are credible. On the other hand, pretend you’re something that you’re not and you’ll come off as shady.

The real secret to gaining legitimacy is authenticity.
We’re all after legitimacy, in the end. So take the time to build your expertise and knowledge, offer your services at a discounted rate while you gain experience, and build in the right systems to support your products and services so you can offer unparalleled good service. You’ll build credibility by doing things right, and with credibility and legitimacy comes real success.

(In an upcoming issue of my No Suits Allowed! e-zine, I’ll be talking about how to be authentic. It’s such an important piece that’s missing from so many businesses today, so make sure you subscribe to the e-zine so you can find out the critical steps you need to take to achieve authenticity in your business.)

In 2010, my “Year of Making It ALL Work,” I’m committed to taking a long, hard look at my own business each month, relative to that month’s theme. Last month was all about getting organized, so I attacked my organization and planning. This month is about finding your purpose and getting authentic. So today I’m musing about the first part of that — finding your purpose.

Finding my own purpose took me down sort of a roundabout path. As I sought my true purpose, I tried lots of things. I was a social psychologist, a web developer, a success coach, a Reiki master…I took courses on project management, and even on how to be a travel agent. I tried many things. But no matter what I did, there were always two constants: I have always been a teacher and I have always been a writer. And no matter what I do, somehow I always come back to that. Are there things in your life that have been constants? If so, these might be connected to your purpose.

Now, I don’t know if I buy into the numerology thing, but my birthdate adds up to 33, which I’m told is the number of the Master Teacher or Healer. As a 33, my life path number is 6. According to what I’ve heard and read (and again, I’m still on the fence about this stuff), the 33/6 life path calls one to leadership and responsibility. Numerology or not, I’ve always felt that calling, and I’ve walked that path my entire life, with some ventures more successful than others.

How does this life purpose translate into my business? First, I write. Prolifically. I’m always working on a book, a blog post, an e-zine article, or content for one of the several sites I post on. Second, I teach through my writing, but I also teach my clients. Virtually everything I write is written with the intent of teaching something, whether it’s a technical piece on how to use social media or an article about finding inspiration for doing something tiresome. I teach my clients about authentic business, including marketing and sales, as well as  “nuts and bolts” logistic stuff. I’m always teaching. I teach when I speak publicly so that people walk away going, “Wow, I really learned something today.”

How will this translate into future business? I’ll continue writing and teaching, of course, but in a bigger arena. Part of my Year of Making It ALL Work is growing my brand awareness so I can reach more people and share my own unique voice with a bigger audience.  Once thing I’ve learned for sure is that once you find your purpose and get grounded in your path, you know where you’re going and everything starts to fall into place.

For me, that means reaching out to more people, talking more about what I’ve learned, offering more, and giving more. It also means knowing it’s okay not to be perfect and remembering that if I learn from my mistakes, surely I can help you to learn from them, too, so you don’t have to go through everything I did and make the same mistakes I did. I’ll be talking a bit more about that in my next post on authenticity.

My theme for February is all about finding your true purpose and being authentic.

Finding your purpose can be challenging. You have to give yourself permission to dream and engage in constructive soul-searching. What speaks most to your soul and what lifts your spirit? What are you meant to do and what are your unique gifts? Once you find the answer to these questions, concentrate on discovering your unique voice, that which makes you you. And then you’ll really have something. But know this: the answer isn’t out there. It’s in you. Search long enough and you’ll find it.

Authenticity in your business is about honesty. Trust. Integrity. Doesn’t it seem ironic, then, that people use “authenticity” as a marketing gimmick? For the service professional, authenticity is about getting to the heart of who you are, and communicating that to your audience. It’s about providing a real service or a real product, something of true value, and offering it at a fair and appropriate price. And believe me, when you get authentic, you see such a huge return in your business.

This month, you’ll find a fantastic interview call with Bob Burg, author of The Go-Giver in my teleseminar series, The Experts Series. After that call, I’ll also be doing a Q&A call of my own, so we can talk about building authenticity and “Go-Giver principles” into your own business.