Ever since I gained a certain level of visibility and credibility in the marketplace, I’ve been bombarded with private messages and e-mails from people who want me to promote their books, products, teleseminars, live events, telesummits…

I’m particular about who and what I promote. I only share people and products I have personal experience with. I only share things that have helped me and improved my business. If I connect with someone or read a book that just didn’t help me, I’ll be darned if I’m going to promote that to my subscribers and followers, just to get a fat commission. I’ve never believed in promotion for profit. It’s just not my style.

But what bothers me most is that I regularly receive requests for help from people who have befriended me on Facebook, never said “hello,” and then sent me a message a couple of weeks later asking me to promote their new book and help them get to “bestseller status” on Amazon.

Why would I do that??

Why would I ever promote someone I don’t know? Why would I promote content I haven’t reviewed? How could I possibly recommend someone I don’t know and maintain my own integrity and authenticity?

I imagine there are people who will promote anything, thinking that associating themselves with someone they perceive as more successful makes them look more successful. It doesn’t.

So here’s the scoop: if you want people to promote your products, here’s the way to do it:

1. Create really solid content. Don’t hold back. Give everything you’ve got and make sure you have a good editor (for print or audio).
2. Form strong relationships with other entrepreneurs and small business owners who have the same target market. Look for complimentary businesses to form alliances with.
3. Talk to people. Get to know them. Comment on blogs, Facebook pages, articles, and show your support.
4. Bring value to the table for other people before you ask them to do something for you. Believe it or not, things like what I mentioned in #3 are ways of bringing value and forming a relationship with someone. I remember the people who post comments on my Facebook status updates and blog posts.
5. If you want someone to promote your product or book for the first time and they haven’t seen your content before, send them a copy of your work before asking them to promote it. You might end up with a great blurb for your book cover or web site and you might also gain a fan.

Ultimately, the most important point I can make here is that if you’re using social media as a business networking tool, make sure you use it the right way. Remember to focus on the “social” part of social media. It’s all about the connection and the conversation.

Being authentic can be surprisingly difficult, especially in business. I often work with people who have no problem being genuine in real life, but who really struggle with authenticity in business. I hear from clients that, in business, they have to appear to be mega-successful — not just sort of successful, and not “hey, I’m growing a business here,” but really successful, in order to be taken seriously. There’s so much posturing and pretending, because people believe that you can’t become successful unless you appear to already be successful. But that’s just not true! In fact, it’s the opposite.

We’re all works in progress.
I’ve seen “behind the scenes” of a lot of the people who most of us think of as mega-successful, and things aren’t always how they seem. A well-known wealth coach I know spends most of his time talking about the power of mindset, but I know that he struggles with exactly the same issues everyone else does: doubt, uncertainty, insecurity. We’re all works in progress. Every single one of us. We all have questions and insecurities and fears. It’s how you deal with those internal struggles that matters.

The truth has a way of seeping out anyway.
We think we’re so good at hiding our secrets from the rest of the world. But whether it’s a financial crisis, marital problems, personal demons, or something else, even if you think you’re keeping your skeletons hidden, you’re probably not. Truth has a way of sneaking out there and betraying our lies. Truth may show up in an uncertain look in your eye or in the way you keep your secrets, but know this: it’s almost impossible to keep things totally hidden.

It’s not all about appearances. It’s about truth.
Far too many folks out there seem to think that if you appear to be super-successful, you’ll achieve legitimacy. But it’s not about how you seem, it’s about how you are. If who you really are matches up with who you say you are, then you’ll appear credible, because you are credible. On the other hand, pretend you’re something that you’re not and you’ll come off as shady.

The real secret to gaining legitimacy is authenticity.
We’re all after legitimacy, in the end. So take the time to build your expertise and knowledge, offer your services at a discounted rate while you gain experience, and build in the right systems to support your products and services so you can offer unparalleled good service. You’ll build credibility by doing things right, and with credibility and legitimacy comes real success.

(In an upcoming issue of my No Suits Allowed! e-zine, I’ll be talking about how to be authentic. It’s such an important piece that’s missing from so many businesses today, so make sure you subscribe to the e-zine so you can find out the critical steps you need to take to achieve authenticity in your business.)

Last week I was a featured speaker at the Indiana Small Business Fair. I don’t normally do trade shows, so this was a bit of a new experience for me, and I learned a lot of valuable lessons in the process. Here’s what I learned:

1. Candy on the table is a surprisingly powerful draw, but you may end up taking some home.

We took one too many bags of Hershey’s Kisses and ended up bringing it home with us. As a self-professed chocoholic, I have had to ask Leo to hide the remaining sweets, to avoid having to roll myself to my next speaking engagement.

2. The week following the event will inevitably be packed full of meetings.

It seemed to me that people attended the Indiana Small Business Fair for one of three reasons: to network for their business, to look for a job, and to learn about how to start a business. I don’t often network locally, since my client base tends to be international, but this week, I’m spending an inordinate amount of time running out to meetings with interesting and cool people I met at the event, to talk about their businesses and how Business in Blue Jeans can help, to discuss how we can add them to our “Denim Dream Team,” and to just chat and get to know each other. I love connecting this way, but I have to confess that I’m already looking forward to next week, when I have some time to get some work done.

3. People do weird things after an event like this.

I’ve gotten a lot of marketing materials sent to my inbox since the event and it appears to be from people who simply went to the event, picked up a ton of business cards, and then, without meeting anyone, went home and sent out a blanket e-mail to everyone. Now, to me, that’s weird. This kind of marketing doesn’t make sense to me. Without talking to people or taking the time to learn about their businesses, it’s unlikely that you know if those people really are your target market. I can tell you that I am definitely not in the target market for many of these folks, and their marketing efforts aren’t just unsuccessful at getting my business, these tactics actually make them look bad.

4. When you do a speaking gig and people like it, others will follow.

I’m currently in discussions to speak at the Simply WOW Expo and the National Black MBA Association meeting, as well as a few others. This makes me endlessly happy, because I absolutely love public speaking.

5. At events like this, you will meet some amazing people.

And I did. This was a fun event for me, and I loved meeting several of my local e-zine subscribers in person and getting to chat with the wonderful business owners in Indianapolis. Kudos to the organizers!

I’m the new Indianapolis Small Business Strategies Examiner for Examiner.com! I’m super excited to have my articles posted in yet another great location. If you’re in Indianapolis and have ideas about doing business in Indy, or know about something I should cover, let me know!

Check out my page on Examiner.com and my first article, on online social networking in Indianapolis! http://qurl.com/gj2y4